we make do.

we eat worry

with yesterday’s leftovers,

anxiousness swallowed down

with a bit of bread

that we bought with loose change

found between seat cushions

years of empty pockets

have left us accustomed

to its stale taste

it will be another long day today

the poems will have to wait

there is rarely time for writing anymore

if we aren’t working

our time is stolen by daily chores

and doctor appointments

on the rarer days,

when the quiet greets us,

our minds are still consumed

with this sense of foreboding

we can’t seem to escape

it’s rather suffocating,

always falling short of thriving

most days, we’re barely surviving

our wallets are paper thin

and the coffers are empty

our hearts are full though,

and i suppose

that makes us richer than most

– ashley jane

waiting on answers from the sky.

we exist in this summer haze,

days trailing into nights

we sit beneath midnight skies

painted obsidian and aubergine,

sipping on Guinness and cider

and talking about life

and love

and the ache of it all

we keep waiting on this new moon

to impart its infinite wisdom,

waiting for stories untold

to unfold amidst the stars

but there is only the echo of absence,

a silence that shakes us

so we fill it

with chatter

with chaos

we get drunk on the noise

because anything is better than this

q u i e t

because anything is better than admitting

we have no clue

what is going on

we sit in shadows cast by starlight

and wait for the sun to rise

(maybe it will share its secrets)

– ashley jane

i do not care to reminisce with your days of deceit.

i am walking forwards,

but time is moving backwards

and somehow,

i keep tracing your footsteps

i keep running into you

you celebrate

you call it fate,

but you know i’ve never believed in that

not the way i believe in ghosts

or horoscopes

or bonds that can’t be broken

i am trapped

i am fickle and indecisive

i am whispered dreams

standing at the edge of a scream

but never a follower

no, never

so, will you tell me please

why time has me coming around here,

visiting the minutes of your manipulation,

caught in the seconds of your stare

(i do not like the way these hours feel)

– ashley jane

the time is now.

you were all wiles and charms,

sensual depths dancing behind midnight eyes

and lips that devoured my secrets

i gave no resistance

you always knew how to play me a melody,

a pied piper beckoning

with velvet words and a lyre of lies

i fell for it every time

(but even hearts like mine know

there’s a time for letting go)

– ashley jane

we could’ve been a masterpiece.

you said we used to be brilliant

we used to shine like the sun

we used to paint the town

with the rhythm of our love

but the only color we know now

is the color of deceit

we draw lines across the city,

words etched like hexes

from north to south

you stay on your side,

and i’ll stay on mine

isn’t that right?

we used to be shades of wonder,

of magic, of madness, of mystique

now, we are white lies

etched into a black heart summer,

silence caged in gray

(once upon a time,

we could’ve been the most amazing art)

– ashley jane

road trip runaways.

the sunlight burns in our rear view mirror,

a canopy of flames following close behind

we say goodbye to the bittersweet glow,

our bodies exhausted from chasing

too many unending horizons,

brutal and beautiful and beckoning

nights and days blending together,

moonrise – twilight – ethereal dawn,

each one feeding into the next

like a record on repeat

the highway bends like wisteria vines

and we just drive,

this feeling in our chest pushing us on,

demanding that we

run

explore

escape

anything to remove this ache in our veins,

anything to feed the wild in our hearts

– ashley jane

i seek to stay far from where you are.

i once liked roses,

but you reminded me

that they have thorns

and that honeyed lines

carry a hidden sting

you’re all poison and pearl,

the cold caress

of pretty words that bite,

a kiss of the abyss

with no love in sight

and i

found freedom

in my own soul shimmer,

all waterfall wonder

and gemstone glimmer

i am a forest fire light,

a full moon magic

that swallowed up

your pitch black night

(my heart is filled

with sunflowers and fireflies,

and i sleep amidst the stars)

– ashley jane

sunrise.

i stood beneath a shivering sunset,
wrapped in the soft brutality of its fading light
i listened to the night life heralding the coming stars,
and i remembered all the wishes we’d made
from cold balconies on lonely evenings,
all the promises that were whispered
even though we knew they’d go unkept
we were always experts at predicting endings,
yet somehow,
we couldn’t foresee our own
i stayed there until morning,
on the balcony,
without you this time,
and i watched a peek of color
paint the cityscape in shades of day,
and it was if i were seeing dawn for the first time
i suppose i spent so many sunsets with you
that i’d never noticed how beautiful
sunrises could be

– ashley jane

cleansed.

i spent hours
beneath the rain
collecting seashells,
wandering the shore,
this mind of mine
lost in its own world
i fed the sea memories,
silent songs
of this saudade
in my veins
i watched the previous day
get washed away
by the waves,
so many lost hours
swept out to sea
i stayed as the morning air
became the evening breeze,
the skies still spilling down
in a fine mist
and finally,
i felt
cleansed

– ashley jane

sunset to sunrise.

i stood beneath a shivering sunset,

wrapped in the soft brutality of its fading light

i listened to the night life heralding the coming stars,

and i remembered all the wishes we’d made

from cold balconies on lonely evenings,

all the promises that were whispered

even though we knew they’d go unkept

we were always experts at predicting endings,

yet somehow,

we couldn’t foresee our own

i stayed there until morning,

on the balcony,

without you this time,

and i watched a peek of color

paint the cityscape in shades of day,

and it was if i were seeing dawn for the first time

i suppose i spent so many sunsets with you

that i’d never noticed how beautiful

sunrises could be

– ashley jane